Saturday, February 5, 2011


My daughter recently just got a palette expander and the first stage of braces and I was introduced to my Orthodontist's Office. (I am originally from Kentucky so I have a huge hang up when it comes to straight teeth.)  IT IS WONDERFUL.  It is in a normal rather recently constructed office park, in an unassuming building that looks like all of the rest.  But when you rise to the the second floor in the sleek but nondescript elevator you come face to face with a door that is straight out of Harry Potter.  (I have to also include the bottom floor that has two oral surgeons with midevil  chairs often filled with bored tweens waiting to be executed,  I guess, while they text their parents for help.  One of these doctors bears the last name Stoner and this always makes me giggle.)  The door frame is like three times the size of the other office doors in the building and it is made of heavy wood and stained glass It literally looks like it would lead you to the inner sanctums of the Harvard Dining Room.

You enter and it is a magical wonderland for adults and children alike.  There is a state of the art, fully stocked Keurig machine, a game room, a large waiting area with comfy leather chairs interspersed with waterfalls and an extinct bird sanctuary.  But, the polarizing force in the room that commands all of my attention are the two receptionists behind the massive desk that have matching uniforms.

Their "uniforms" are really outfits - trendy outfits that match which set off a virtual firestorm of questions in my brain that  will never be asked nor answered.  They wear a ruffled blouse in a fashionable print, with a belted cardigan and matching slacks (straight from my mother's vocabulary).  I am dying to see their shoes but that would require craning my neck and bending over the desk and I haven't yet figured out a way to make that seem like a normal response to a situation I have created.  (The best I have come up with is to throw my phone across the desk so they have to go and retrieve it for me but I can't figure out how to make this look like a natural ocurence that would happen in "real life".)  Thank God they have electronic self check-in because everytime I am in a situation where I have to speak to one of them  I can't focus and my conversation with them doesn't flow.

"How many uniform/outfits do you each own?  Do you pay a deposit?  Has anyone ever quit after a week and never returned their uniform/outfit and does the office manager take it out of their paycheck?  Is there a skirt version?  Does that require a uniform chart so you coordinate everyday? Have you ever gone out for drinks together after work?  Does one of you take the cardigan off, then?  What will you do when the styles change?  Who determines when an outfit/uniform has gone out of style?"  All of these and many more are questions that I would bombard them with if I could ever get up the nerve.  For now I will just use the electronic check-in and pretend to read my emails (the office is wireless, natch) when they catch me gazing at them from across the room.  I go to Dr. Cook of Hutta and Associates.  They have two locations and I speak only of the Dublin location but I imagine the Worthington office does not dissapoint.  Check it out.  You are going to have to pay the money anyway.  You might as well enjoy it.  It is worth every penny.

1 comment:

  1. this is your mom. that college education has paid off. i didn't see any misspelled words except here. i feel like i should give advice, but all i can say is keep up the good work. i love your humor, maybe because i'm a weirdo too. still miss the cigs.