Thursday, February 18, 2016

Social Media it's BEST, hookers

She DESERVES  a new pink outfit!
Sooooo I've been following what I normally follow, and that's basically whatever blows my skirt up. And what blows my skirt up right now is Kanye West, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills aaaannnddd wait for it....cancer. (I just CANNOT give it a capital letter because it's taken enough.)

Now, let's dig in.

Kanye West is a social media marketing evil genius.  Taylor Swift was the FIRST FEMALE to ever win back to back best album at the Grammy's and ALLLLL anyone is talking about is Kanye....even HER.  She took the bait.  She ATE the tainted sushi, y'all!  Gawd bless her.  She didn't stand a chance.

Not in on the joke.  Poor GURLLL, wit' all her Grammys.

Against the social marketing machine that is Kanye West.  And Donald Trump.  And Justin Beiber.  She should know better.  While she was posting photos of her with one of her cats (I follow her on Insta, natch) Kanye was plotting the release of his album, and he decided a long time ago that he was going to headline SNL several times, and then NOT ATTEND the Grammy's (because he wasn't nominated for anything) and then drop a couple of tweets that gets EVERAYONE's attention so salacious that a winner, herself, inadvertently makes her ENTIRE speech about his tweet.  BRILLIANT! Let's ALLLL give it up for Kanye. He is the master of social media marketing, and I, for one, am going to take a page out of his playbook.

Now, let's jump to the REALLL Housewives of Beverly Hills, who are,  by the way, ALLLL hocking something.

Whether they are inadvertently bringing their signature Rose to a "Real Housewives BBQ" and by signature, I mean their fucking NAME is on it, or exhibiting themselves on their show, as they breeze through their new POPUP store they have in the Hamptons, these BITCHES are PITCHIN' something all the DAMN time.

Hell, they get in brawls at lunch, and they barely know each other just to stay RELEVANT.  And we sop it up with a biscuit!  And we Google them using key words depending on what they are hawking (or at least Alissa and I do) and do you know why? Because we are picking up what they are putting down, that's why.  We are playing into their hand, and I don't mind if you do it, because IIIII do it, just KNOW that you are an ACTIVE participant.  If you are part of the game, you are not being played, in my book, anyway.

So, this brings me to CANCER and how all this ties in.  Well, I'll tell you. So I was thinking if the whole World is going to Hell in a hand basket, then how can I contribute?

Here's how.  My Dad's finance, Dianna, is a wonderful person to be around.  I honestly feel guilty about how well we get along and how much I like her, because my Mom is no longer here.  I'm just being real.

She is delightful, and she and my Dad adore each other.  They both have deceased spouses and they somehow found each other and then, shortly after they got together, her breast cancer resurfaced.

It was devastating, to say the least.  There were the oncology appointments, and the surgeon appointments and the concomitant appointments that branch from those, including the surgery, of course, and then my Dad was diagnosed with rectal cancer in the middle of it.

They were just so happy to be together and to get that second chance, and then cancer, and chemo, and radiation, and surgery, and the subsequent medical visits, expenses, and really just HEADACHES ignited, when they just wanted to go out to dinner and paint their dining room and putt around in their garden and maybe go to the track once in a while. (Dianna has a long lineage of horse trainers in her extended family.)

My Dad's first Miller Lite after an eternity of Chemo.

SO, I started THINKING, which is terrifying to everyone around me, because...What now, right?  I don't blame them, but this time...THIS TIME...I think I've GOT it.  No, really. Stay with me, Peeps.

My Dad nominated Diana for this Breast Cancer Survivor Walk around the track at Churchill Downs on Oaks Day.  You do not have to donate.  You don't have to do anything but click on a link and press a button on Facebook.  It's THAT simple, folks.

Full disclosure, she and my Dad will also receive two Oaks tickets and she will get to splurge on a new PINK frock for the event.

No brainer, right?  Well, here's the RUB. You have to vote EVERADAY.

Hey, I get it.  Who the fuck has time to remember to click on some link, even if it IS for a good cause?

Well, let me tell you in advance about my evil social marketing scheme.

I am going to post the link to vote for Dianna everyday until it closes (which I need to look up, because I have no idea) accompanied by what I consider an absurd tag line so that you will pay attention and click the link and then the button - KANYESTYYYYYLE.

Maybe it will make you angry, or make you laugh, or even...if I accomplish my goal, make you THINK.

Stay tuned, assholes, because I am not afraid to offend - ummmm, much like Donald Trump.  It's all about drawing attention to yourself to get your message across, right?

Like new real housewife , Kathryn Edwards' tagline proclaims on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, "Don't hate the player, just MARRY one!"  Sorry, Brad.

I guess her lips are real.  She said so on the show anyway, so it MUST be true, right?

Here's the LINK:

Click on it or don't click on it.  But, KNOW that you are a LOSER, if you don't.
See how infuriated you are?  My evil social marketing campaign has begun!


GUIDANCE:  Go see Aly at Yoga at the Yard.

She is closing shop at the end of February.  It is a travesty. She is a TRUE yogi.  I had a session with her and her business partner, Becky, today, that was transformative.  It's what people talk about, when they transcend through yoga.  Aly is a true artist and I will never forget what she did for me on a very hard day.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have no tolerance for hocus pocus (Jen), but Aly is the real THANG.

I am "breathless" to see what you will do in the future.  Thank you for being you, Aly. Keep fighting the good fight.