Tuesday, April 29, 2014

What courage looks like

Missing some players, here.  Just important that I am in the center, really.

I have had a group of girlfriends for all of my adult life.  This is unique, in the sense that we were united by marriage because our husbands all grew up together.  This is even MORE remarkable because we are all not from the neighborhood the guys reached puberty in, and is probably the exact reason why we married them - because EWWW, right?

At first, when we were introduced, when we were all dating or first getting married, we were friends by convenience.  But, then, as we all started having babies and forging a relationship with each other, we became friends because we really enjoyed each other and we had more in common than just that our husbands loved each other.  We started to do things without them, and we talked about things other than our relationship with them. What I am trying to say is that at first, we sort of bonded by making fun of our husbands, and then we just became friends because we liked each other, and then we became CLOSE because we trusted each other and we were REAL with each other and because outside of that circle, there is no other friendship like the one that we have.  Make no mistake, here, we still TOTALLY make fun of our husbands and that element is the very CORE of our relationship to each other because that shit is what unions are MADE of, peeps.

Hashtag.  She works OUT.

Anyway, back on subject, there is an easiness with these women that I have with no other group of women.  We are not a posse, or a click, because we do not do everything collectively.  We live in all parts of Columbus and Colorado and truly, we live separate lives in terms of our individual family lives.  But, we always come together during a crisis - like the birth of a baby or milestone birthdays, or Christmas. My point is that we have separated and come together for the last twenty years and I can always count on the same two ingredients to be present - genuineness and laughter.
One of the best times I've ever had.  Bar none.

Well, now one of those friends is in trouble and all I can think about is how I have known these women my entire adult life and how important their relationships are to me and well, I am heartsick - just to my core, you know?
She's just lovely.  That is the word that keeps popping up in my mind.  Lovely.

Yesterday, I saw firsthand what courage looks like and it is my friend, Kim.  She was so strong and so brave and so graceful, it literally took my breath away.

There is a rawness that occurs when life takes an ugly turn that peels away all of the outer layers of our personalities to expose the jelly-like substance that is our soul.  THAT is who someone really is and I saw Kim's and Paul's and Cindy's and Susan's and quite honestly, I was in awe.  It is my privilege to know you, and to have known you for as long as I have.

And the women who were not physically in that room, WERE in that room and gave us all the capacity to be our best selves because we are supported - and when you have back up, you can do anything.

J.T. - wasn't there, but isn't this picture amazing?  Yes.  I am THAT grown up.

I laughed HARD yesterday, like I always do, and there were moments and inside jokes and conversations that I am grateful to be a part of, even under the circumstances, because I will take one REAL moment over 1,000 fabricated ones, any day of the week.
Klassy.  The wind beneath my wings. Clearly.

I realized that I've never written a post directly about Kim, although I've mentioned her many times.  Kim, you are the most thoughtful person I have ever known.  You ALWAYS put everyone before yourself and ensure that everyone is "taken care of," sometimes while eclipsing your own experiences.

Well, now it is time for you to take a back seat, my friend.  We now all are concentrated on the time that YOU are having.  It's payback time, in a good way.  Although you were never mentally adding up our side dishes and top shelf cocktails, it appears our bill is due and we are all getting out our Bluejackets debit cards.
I make her kiss me on the lips every time I leave the hospital room because it makes her so uncomfortable.  If this turns you on, then that's your problem.

I love you, hon, and I look forward to being your bitch.  It's about time.

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