Friday, February 18, 2011

Four Jumanji!

I love movies.  My family was always very into movies.  I was brought up with Catherine Hepburn and Cary Grant on my mom's side and Robert Deniro and Al Pacino from my Dad's side.  I remember being very young when my dad introduced me to Apocalypse Now and The Deer Hunter. "No wonder" you all are thinking, but horrible, sadistic, gory war or gangster movies was our Indian Princesses, if you will.

My favorite movies are slice of life, gritty, drama-laden films that make me feel better about my life.  Kind of like Intervention, but scripted.  Independent films are what I am drawn to the most.   I have even gotten my husband into them.  He would never admit to it, though.  He has that "courtroom drama" rep to protect, you know.

I have done crazy stuff for movies.  Brad and I waited in line for an hour once to see Blair Witch Project.  (It was all the rage at the time, okay?).  I made friends of mine leave work early when The Firm came out because I was SURE that there would be a stampede opening night in Louisville, Kentucky.  I still catch shit for that one.  I buy my tickets in advance and I am NO stranger to going to movies by myself.

Today, I saw Black Swan.  I thought it was good if you like soft lesbian porn.  I was able to look past that, though, and I thought the casting was spot on.  The scariest character in the movie to me was Barbara Hershey.  She is so creepy. I can't believe Sayid (Lost reference) is into that.

Anyway, awards season is upon us and I have been deep into my research.  My manager, "Mrs. Clowdus", (she makes me call her that), and I saw Rabbit Hole and Blue Valentine back to back weekend nights.  We are serious about our movies.  Collectively, the money we spent on babysitters and prime time movies could have paid for a weekend at a Ritz Carlton. 

For the record, both movies were TERRIBLE.  Apparently, with Rabbit Hole, we decided, we had come in late and left early without realizing it.  We came into the movie prepared for the uplifting "couple loses child" plot, and we were still disappointed.  I mean, honestly, how can you see a movie about that topic and NOT cry?  We were dumbfounded.  Also, there is a scene where Nicole Kidman is having a major breakdown.  This is a prime example of why a character actress should not do botox.  It was mesmerizing to me to watch someone express so much emotion without ever moving their face. 

Blue Valentine's (spoiler alert) only good scene is the one they show in the trailer where hotty von hottsburg plays the ukulele and Michelle does an impromptu tap dance.  For most of the film, hotty has this insane receding hairline with long sideburns and these John Hinkley prescription glasses.  It was AWFUL.

OK. Now for my favorite nominees.  I LOVED The Kids Are Alright and The King's Speech.  Colin Firth and Annette Bening deserve Best Actor, hands down.  I am in love with Mark Ruffalo, too.  Julianne Moore is also one of my favorites but I really feel like she was outshined by Bening in the film.   I really liked The Social Network, as well. How hot are the Winkleberries? I saw them on some news show and they are exactly like their characters.  It is crazy.  They are uber rich and are going after Mark Zuckerberg for even MORE money.  You go girls!

So my husband and I have been movie partners forever.  We took a class together in college and every Friday we would cut class to see a matinee.  Because we moved around a lot, we also saw a lot of movies because we didn't know anyone.  Once, when we were in Grad School (he finished, I didn't, natch) in Lexington we were going to see Pulp Fiction.  There was a woman in line right in front of us who seemed to have an opinion on everything.  (Kind of like me.)  The lady she is talking at is kind of half-listening as the woman's filthy kids are running around her and pulling on her house dress.

"I can't BULIEVE somebody would pay GOOD money to go and see that AWFUL Pulp Fiction movie!" she ranted.  Brad and I looked at each other and smiled.  "All there is, is just SEX and VIOLENCE and people SHOOTIN' at each other and doin' DRUUUUGS!"  She was really getting herself worked up now.  "I mean, Who ARE these IDIOTS that would want to SEE something like THAT?"

My husband and I are starting to giggle now and before we could believe what was happening the lady stomped up to the window like she was part of a marching band and announced, "FOUR JUMONJEEE!". Brad and I exploded with laughter as she slapped down her money (mostly change), grabbed each of her kids by the arm and burst into the theater. 

To this day, Brad and I cannot buy tickets to a movie without one of us repeating, "FOUR JUMONJEE!"

My friend in Westerville, we'll call her "Kimmy" has an academy awards party every year.  It is all girls and we wear our pajamas and all the costume jewelry we can handle.  She goes all out with champanya and seat savers (the large posterboard pics they use so the celebs know where to sit) of each of us and even one year a red carpet with her children acting as the paparazzi when you arrived. It is so much fun to hang with your girlfriends and critique the celebs on the red carpet.  I consider it my Superbowl.  The picture above is of me at one of "Kim's" parties.   I don't care what anyone says, you really can't have too much leopard. 

So, my advice today is twofold.  If you haven't seen any of the nominees, I would see The Social Network, The Kids Are Alright and/or The King's Speech.  Also, if you have time to put it together, watch the Academy Awards with some girlfriends.  Mrs. Clowdus' parents have a really big mansion in town that would do nicely.  I'm just sayin'. 


  1. 2:00 at the mansion is perf. Gotta watch all the carpet walkin. Hope Kimmy can make it! Poor thing just got her party scrapped.

  2. Hey I will watch it at the problem with that! :)
    johnna I can't see the leopard picture...wish I could attach it on here