Friday, April 10, 2015

Interpreting Pop Culture and Instagram Tomfoolery they are.

Sooooo I approach social media  and pop culture different than most, I think, and I thought I might enlighten the rest of you.  I finally succumbed to the fact that it has altered our lives forever, and I have decided, like ANY old person would, that I am going to make it my bitch.

The best thing that you can do for yourself when you are old and progress slaps you in the face, is to combat that fact like Brandi Glanville would, and just unleash a full glass of Pinot Grigio that so stuns your competitor that they act in a way that they NEVER would normally in their real life.

Today I was folding laundry like I ALWAYS DO....EVERARY DAY and I decided I was going to commit to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion - there are parts ONE, TWO, aaannnndd THREE mamas- because it is sooo fucking intense.

Now, three has not aired and is part of my guidance today so, you're welcome.

There was a time in my life that I could not tolerate ANY of the Housewives series.  WELLLL, I'm BACK in the saddle and it, well, it just feels so NATURAL.

I am in constant AWE of all of them, yet, I SEE why they are doing what they are doing - not just to seem RELEVANT, but bitches be payin' their BILLS, y'all.

Brandi Glanville knows EXACTLY what she is doing.  The hilarious thing about her is that on one episode I caught ,she got a big unexpected CHECK and so she went and bought herself a hundred thousand dollar car, which she pulled up and parked right in the circular driveway of her rented home!

GAWD love her!

She is an wax museum lookin' fool after my own heart.
Just upsetting.

Part of the reason these women do this is because they have acquired a lifestyle that they need to afford.  The other reason is absolutely to remain relevant. The third, obscure justification is that it is somehow cathartic, in their botoxed, overfillered minds.  The final reason is that they are just plain crazy, but mostly I think it is for the check and the notoriety.  Now, some are hawking their restaurants and their skinny girl drinks on one level, but on another, there just HAS to be some other motivation because there is just no product in this world that would let me allow myself to go on national television and exploit my personal life and family.  Now, this blog is a totally different thing.  It is partially invented, I curse a lot, I am nuevo riche, wine is constantly being consumed....Wait, sorry, there IS no difference between them and me.  My bad.

Moving on...the act of seeing oneself on television must be mesmerizing.  In today's world, so much is recorded and documented that it must be intoxicating for them to actually be able to rewind a reel and see EXACTLY what happens when you are buzzed and put in a situation where you are bound to be at your WORST. Lisa Rinna, who seems fairly innocuous, was absolutely driven to the BRINK in one episode, so provoked that she threw her wine on another "wife" and not satisfied with that, broke her wine glass on the table like she was christening a boat.  The other housewives were so terrified, they actually ran away from the table and sought shelter outside because of course this all happened in a restaurant in another country.  Are you enticed yet to watch, who wouldn't be?
Klassy! She got her pic in US, though, and thus got her contract renewed.

I think, more than anything else I like to analyze the housewives, not judge them. Analysis is different.  It is detached and does not include pesky morality.  It is all about MOTIVATION and how they each got from where they have been to where they are now.

I make it sort of an intellectual exercise.  I am not allowing reality television to manipulate me, I am using it to make observations to try and understand interpersonal relationships better while also engaging in pop culture, so that I may stay relevant, as well.

That, and I really like Brandi's hair in the reunion episode and I made an appointment to cut all mine off this Monday, like hers, but I am fairly sure her "asymmetrical bob" is not real like her cheek bones and forehead and breasts and it is just "tucked under" as if in a tranny's leotard.  This is upsetting on two fronts - one being that I am trying to emulate something that does not exist and two - I have let reality tv dupe me again, just in a different way.  UGH!  Didn't see that one coming.  I guess I need to find a new hair role model.  Brandi is an imposter, apparently.

Instagram is another fun one for me.  I follow random people : artists, obscure celebrities, comedians, NY club owners, nail polish videos, hair trend videos, L.A. flower arrangers, and then family members and friends.  I am selective who I let into that world because Facebook was all about just "reconnecting" with people, and my Instagram is more personal, and still fun.

I used to like to follow all of my friends' kids, but now I have unfollowed and blocked most adolescents because I don't want to let them into my little world I have created.  Did you realize that people actually care what their Instagram "looks like" in terms of the compilation of photos on their page?  Hallie brought that to my attention.  Apparently, it's supposed to be aesthetically pleasing or some shit.    The level of attention that must be paid is somehow important.  I wish she felt the same about her room.

My emoji. can be FUN!

Anyway, let me share with y'all some of my favorite random posts.  I screen shot them and then send them to my friends via text along with my own emoji that I have created.  These are fun ways to use technology and pop culture, that don't bring you down like self-promoting Facebook posts and the invasive ads you endure when you are trying to watch YouTube videos that creepily advertise products you've researched on the Internet.

Just try to look away.  You can't.  The image is burned in your mind forever.

I sent this one to my friend, Susan.  Should have waited till her birthday today.  Happy Burfday, SUS!!!!

I mean...priceless.

I hate duck lips.  It's weird.

This is probably my all time fav.  You just never know what will be on your feed tomorrow, though.
And that is the joy of it.

In my defense, this was posted by a hilarious Jewish fella, who is responsible for most of these.  I'm obsessed with him.

The caption read:  "When you broke as fuck, but she still believe in yo' dreams." OK. I've got to stop. I could literally do this ALL DAY. 

There is a yin and a yang to everything.  One cannot exist without the other, peeps.  You just HAVE to find the good and the positive, when you feel overwhelmed or disheartened by social media, so that you can appreciate the meaning of it all.  Does that make sense?  YOU ultimately are in control of how you receive the "AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA".  You do not have to become a slave to it.  Edit the things about it that you do not like, and appreciate the things you have access this, for instance.

Ummm.  Hmmmm.

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