Monday, October 10, 2011

My Friend Julie

Thaz my gurl.  How cool is this logo?

Two summers ago, I was introduced to my friend, Julie Pipes.  I will be honest, she is like no other person I have ever met.  She is what my mother refers to as "a big personality".  She is beautiful, and quick witted, and fit (she's a yoga instructor, I do not normally comment on my friends' physiques), but most of all she is extremely intelligent.  If I had to name my favorite thing about her, it would be how open she is.

She is an absolute OPEN BOOK.  I admire that so much, but if she is like me at all, I think it is a kind of defense mechanism.  You cannot make fun of me, if I have done it first.  She seems to subscribe to this philosophy, but make no mistake about it, she will make fun of you, too - in the same sentence, usually.

Let me illustrate:

I arrive at the pool with my three girls, the summer I met her.  She is lounging in the sun with a cocktail and a Vanity Fair magazine, and she looks up and declares, "OH MY GOD!  You did not TELL me that you had THREE GIRLS!"  She has a booming voice and after she compliments them each on how cute they are, and as soon as they are out of earshot, under the  water mushroom, she goes into a "This is your future" scenario for me with each one of them.  Now, mind you, she did not do it in front of my girls, her routine was just for the pleasure of all of the adults on her side of the pool. 

"I can see it all now, as clear as day!" she booms as she takes another sip of her DRANK for punctuation.  "Three girls and at least six weddings if you are lucky, that is."

"Well, we are hoping for two old maids and a lesbian,"  I counter, without skipping a beat.  This is my standard response intended to provide enough "shock value punch" to deter the usual "three girls" conversation any further.  I have met my match.  She does not even flinch.  Most people have some visceral response, but she gets my humor right away.

Julie belly laughs that laugh of hers that I so admire, because it just exudes confidence and jocularity.  "Oh, HEYALL NO!" she continues, "Not with those long legs and faces!  You are in for a lifetime of revolving men.  With any luck, they'll just do live in boyfriends for a while before they decide to get married, but if you are realistic, you better start saving up for several marriages and divorces!  Oh, Daddy, he is so MEAN to me.  I just can't live with him anymore.  He's always cutting up my credit cards and he wants me to WORK.  I know you just paid for a destination wedding in the Caymans, but I think I want to just be on my own and figure out who I am for a while."

She is on a roll.  Eva, my three-year-old at the time, runs up to me.  Julie points to her and starts up again, "Mom, I am in love with my 45-year-old professor, and he wants me to move in with him.  Do you mind paying half of our rent for a while.  He is going on sabbatical, and his wretched wife is simply RAPING him with all of the child support she is demanding."  The pool is in hysterics.  That is the day I fell in love with my friend, Julie.

She was so different from everyone else.  She was smart as a whip and not only is she an open book and will offer up any sordid detail about her life, but she is equally interested in yours.  Not in the usual, nosy suburban housewife way, but in the non-judgemental, trying to help you out sort of way.
You have REAL conversations with her.  She is what my friend, Angela, calls a person with "good bullshit."

ooooo.  Daz right.  Get it gurl.

"Whaddaya know?" she always bellows when she sees you.  I used to feel put on the spot because I don't ever know anything or I am unable to think quickly on my feet, but she doesn't care whether you "KNOW" anything or not, she just wants to diffuse any sort of awkward banter, by getting straight to the point.  What she really wants you to do is say "Nothing.  I got Nuthin'" and then she will tell you some hilarious story or tidbit to start the conversation.  I love her for that.  She is the type of person that people gravitate toward because they know they will have a good time in her presence.

Anyway, Julie has a yoga studio in downtown Columbus called V Power Yoga. I love that it is downtown, too, because I am always looking for a departure from mundane suburbaness, when I get out of the house.

I just started going about 6 weeks ago, and I am absolutely addicted to it.  It is what is called "hot yoga" where she turns up the heat to unbearable temperatures and you sweat like a pig while you try to strike impossible poses.  The headstands are my nemesis.  It is so fun, though, to actually try things that you never thought you could do, and then you achieve them, as you become stronger, and your body becomes more flexible.

As I mentioned, the temperature in the room is so hot that you actually drip sweat onto your mat, and have to continually wipe your face, so that you can see the next series of poses Julie is demonstrating.  Her classes are challenging, detoxing and exhilarating.

Right now, there is a Groupon for V Power Yoga.  Go to her website at, and check it out, and then sign up for the Groupon. The savings is HUGE!  It is a great workout with a big personality, whom I adore.  To boot, she is constantly reposting my blog, which I never asked her to do, and is the type of person who is always there to help a sista out.

P.S. Don't wear cotton pants to her class unless you want to look like you peed yourself as you exit.  Guess who pointed that fact out to me?  That's right....Julie.

She doesn't smoke.  But I just love this photo of her.  Sooo Katherine Hepburn.  Before she shook, I mean.

Now, let's get together gurl and go get overserved!!!!


  1. I have been reading your blog for several months now and when I read your take on that Pure Barre (I googled it and it directed me to your review), I thought "this girl would love Julie". I only left because I moved further away, got pregnant, and now have no money to go back!! She is fantastic and a huge reason I went. Glad you love V Power, and you will start seeing results very soon. I know because as soon as I stopped going, I see the opposite of "results". Wonder if V Power knows we give them shout-outs in our blogs?!

  2. Marci Fleisher tipped me off to your blog in a facebook post. I figured anyone Marci thinks is funny I would, too. I was right - hilarious, and this is just the first post I've read! Kudos to you for keeping your commitment to write - I wish you much success! (And lots more entertainment for us readers!)

  3. Thank you so much!!! Welcome aboard the crazy train!

  4. Love this post. Guess who turned me onto your blog ;)

    Julie is original and I love her. She is one of the many things I miss about Cbus.

    Love the blog!
    S Godnai