Wednesday, November 23, 2016

You have to PROCESS before you heal

Okay, so I have been wanting to post for a long time about the election and whatnot, but NOW I have just posted on every social media I know a rather political statement, even though I am not in the least bit committed to either of the previous candidates.

I got a bunch of LIKES, boo.  It's AAIIGHT.

B made me take it down on Facebook because he has "clients" and the like.  He said I could do INSTA and TWITTER, so I did.  That's a lie.  I just UNTAGGED him for like 6 hours, and then deleted.  RUUUSPECT!  To the middle class, y'all.  Am I RIGHT?

My friend, we'll just call her, Jen, and I were going over the election last week and we send each other GIF's and twitter memes all the time and shit and she sent me one that was as follows:

I can't wait to see the finale of America

Isn't that TRUE?  Our fucking president became FAMOUS by hosting a reality show.  He is an amazing businessman, I mean, that's what EVARAYBODY says.  But, ultimately we have now become a bonafide product of our fucked up society.

Don't get me wrong.  I am not mad about Trump and I do not stand with Hillary.  I'm NOT with her.  You know why?  Because I don't RELATE to her. But I sure as hell am not with HIM either.

My only hope is that Donald Trump realized a long time ago that the Kanye West promotion plan was the one that would elect him president and that underneath it all he has a "publicity side" and a practical side.  We will just have to see, I guess.  My glass is half full.  You have to go forward with what you have, and what you have been given, or you will drown.  

Okay, let's review.  Here are the things that peaked my interest during the election, especially right down to the end.  And so bare with me here because what I focus on, and what the media and most other people concentrate on, are entirely different.  I basically view the World through a SNL filter, and am constantly scripting skits I want them to do on the following week's episode.  My focal points were as follows:

The people in California and the celebrities that represent them have NO IDEA what is going on in the rest of the country.  

They may TOUR, or have Twitter followers from other states, but in general, and I just LOVES to generalize, they REALLY have NO IDEA that the REST of the country are all thinking, feeling human beings with various circumstances, opportunities and hardships that may affect our views on politics and human nature.

I mean, I would be MESMERIZED by incessant Instagram Posts and Netflix shows (Chelsea) that just made the ASSUMPTION that America was going to elect Hillary.

They underestimated the amount of rednecks that would crush their Budlight tallboy, throw it into the fire with the ball of asbestos they just found, to you know, "boost the engine" and peel out in their American made pick up with a mess of their friends and VOTE GAWDDDAMMMIT!

I can say this.  I was raised in Kentucky.  I just KNEW, like all of us rednecks know, that there was a shift in the air, and that Trump was gonna pull this off. Only,  I feel like I was just dropped into the middle of Ricky Bobby's dinner, only THIS IS REALITY, y"all!  

But, it was not just THIS group that came out in droves.  It is the silent Trump voter (many of them close friends and family) that also helped Trump surge in the election.  Thoughtful, FEELING human beings that I respect and value their opinions, that voted for Trump.  They just will never admit it in a public forum.  

They just whisper and nudge each other, trying to feel each other out at parties and games, and then they are either rebuked and slink away or they are bonded to those people, well, at least for the next four years.  I've seen it happen time after time, with my OWN friends even.  Silent Trump voters hated Hillary so much and were so sick of her bullshit that they were willing to roll the dice and see what happens.  Two terms of Obama have just sucked the life out of them and they are looking for a good time.  

It's kind of like the parties you have after finals week, where you made bad decision after bad decision, but you don't care because you are ready for a change and everyone else is doing it.  You are about to break up for the summer and everyone will forget how wasted you were the night before you went home from college.  

What I am saying is that the Silent Trumpers' reasoning was not that Trump was the OBVIOUS choice, he was the ONLY choice in their minds.  And I get that.  I do. She is a career criminal, like all politicians are, and that is why we elected Trump.  We are sick of the status quo.  We want to shake things up!  We are intrigued.  We want to be entertained.  And we are gamblers.

This is who we are.

I feel bad for Hillary, I do, because she's dedicated her life to becoming President and politics and public service and she is DONE. I would say for GOOD, this time.

Just don't forget that she has been in the public eye for a reason.  She has been not only in politics, but in Government, her entire adult life.  

I keep waiting for my kids to learn in school about Bill Clinton and the impeachment and the red dress and the cigar and Kenneth Starr.

That is when everything turned in America and paved the way for a voice over of Trump, our President Elect, to profess to a very nerdy, desperate Billy Bush, that he liked to "grab that pussy".

The cigar in the oval office paved the way for the media to report the bus conversation, in regard to politics. 

My point is that the media is to blame for how disgusting and nasty everything has become.  The media is the reason why we KNOW about Monica's dress and Trump's pussy comment, because they CHOSE to report it as NEWS.  And if they were doing it to inform everyone about the nature of a candidate's integrity, then I understand. But was it really that?  Or was it sensationalism.  Sex sells.  

It's no longer, if it BLEEDS, it leads.  It is a matter of if it tantalizes, it boosts ratings. Kennedy was a womanizer.  Our beloved Reagan had Alzeimers his last term.  These are FACTS.  But, they are immortalized and heralded.  

You wanna know why?  Because of their policies.  That is why.  

Sooooo, at this point, moving forward, how does America keep it KLASSY?

Any ideas?

I'm at a loss.

That reminds me.  Sully is a great movie.

Oh, WAIT, we have Melania, who is a dead ringer for Svetlana on Shameless.  (And if you don't watch it, you should.  It's on Netflix for Gawd's sake.  No excuses.)  

She, and her character are amazing.  I follow her on INSTA, natch.

Ol' gurl gonna GLAM that White House UP!  Apparently, Cyberbullying is her platform.  She is the silver lining on this whole thing. 

So funny.  I have a picture similar to that with each of my babies.  I just couldn't WAIT to put my heels back on.  I used to breastfeed in heels, with EACH one of them, I assure you.

I might just dedicate an entire four years of blogging about Svetlana, I mean, Melania.  Can you imagine Michelle Obama's garden next Spring?  Svetlana ain't gonna plow.  I hope she excavates it and creates a pond for exotic fish for her weirdo Droid-like son who wears monochromatic suits.  That's mean.  It's not HIS fault.  He wasn't BORN into this life.  Oh, yes he was.

AIIGHT.  She didn't choose this life.  She just thought the Don was a meal ticket out of Slovenia, not the President of the United States, Ruler of the Free World.  She just wanted jets and gold and clothes and a warm bath.

Now, Miss Slovenia will be hosting State Dinners and decorating the White House.  It's ON.  She no speaka da Engleeeas.

She's fat.

Here's ANOTHER point of interest, what about Alec Baldwin?  He was Trump on SNL for the last, like eight weeks.  He HAS to continue.  WE NEED IT.

Oh, Oh, here's another thing...Trump has had THREE baby mommas!  Remember when you could assassinate someone's political character because they weren't married or were getting a divorce?  Hilarious.  For some reason Trump is exempt from all of that scrutiny that his supporters and voters (they are two separate groups, see above) have previously subjected all other candidates in history to. 

Remember Howard Dean's red faced rebel yell that had him lose the election?

Remember Palin and how uninformed she was?  She would've been LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD, y'all, if something happened to Cain. 

What about Cain and his creepy Hersheys Syrup or catsup airess wife or whatever who seemed to me had not had a real conversation with each other in a decade, let alone a real marriage.  

Wait, I'm not done. Mitt Romney basically lost the last election because he was caught on video telling rich voters that the rest of the country isn't like THEM - the THEM being the rich and powerful.  Well, the rednecks HEARD that loud and clear and now the new THEM is the Trump supporter.  

CHANGE.  This is what Obama promised.  And this is what TRUMP promised.  And we crave it.  Everyone does.  It is the American way.  We get bored and tired and we need to change it up, beeaches.  

It's just the Redneck's turn.  Truly.  They have fist pumped their way to the White House and they are enjoying their moment.  Let them.  They are fucking OPRESSED, y'all.  And they have a voice, a voice that demands attention...and it did.  

Baldwin has put a few things up on his Twitter about moving forward and shit.  I'm pretty sure New York City didn't have a clue about the unrest in this country, either.

At any rate, whether you were Pro Hillary, Anti-Hillary, Anti-Trump or Gawd forbid Pro-Trump, we are at an impasse.

We just have to adjust.  Daddy and Momma are splittin' up and Daddy got a new FIIINNNEEE FIANCE and they moving' into a NEW HOUSE, y'all.

I have heard from people that I respect that the Trump you see on TV and the private Trump are two different people.  Pence is one of those who professes this, for whom I have tremendous respect.  JK.

I don't know.  I am in AWE of Joan Rivers and she and the DON were TIGHT, right?  She won one of his seasons.  

My advice today is to learn to PROCESS, before you heal.  No matter WHO you are, but I guess if I am being honest, I mean hard core LIBERALS and hard core HILLARY supporters.

Obama shook EVARAYTHANG up, and the country is not ready for a woman president.  Not her, anyway.  If that were the case, then she would have WON because we women would have come out in DROVES to support her.  We currently represent FIFTY-FIVE percent of the total vote in this piece.  

She wasn't RIGHT.  Obama WAS right for the black vote.  It was the perfect match of intelligence and behavior.  And he was a STELLAR representation of what KLASS looks like in the White House, no matter how you slice it.  

Oh well...let's just hope for the best.  We're 'Merica y'all!

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